


Fairytail gone bad?

by SessaTessan



Category: Ski Jumping RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-16 19:56:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14817873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SessaTessan/pseuds/SessaTessan
Summary: Fairytales, not all have a happy ending, or?





	1. Chapter 1

Andi knows he is hurting Stephan. He sees it, he sees the uncertain looks that Stephan throws him, he sees how Stephan does not quite know how he should behave when Andi is in his vicinity, he sees how sad Stephan sinks into himself when Andi ignores him again. He sees Stephan’s hopeful looks every morning, and he sees him gulping down when Andi ignores him again. And yet, Andi does it again and again. He gets out of Stephan’s way, he hangs with Wanki, he gets up so early that Stephan still sleeps, he breakfasts with Wanki, he spends the day with him or with Eisei. Every evening he sits in the room with Wanki and leaves Stephan alone. He always waits until he is sure that Stephan is sleeping before going back to their shared room.

The whole Raw Air tour goes by and Andi jumps badly. Really bad even, and he knows he looks tired. Is he, he can not sleep because his guilty conscience keeps him awake. At nights he lies awake for hours watching Stephan. In the protection of the dark Norwegian nights, he can give free rein to his feelings. He has stretched out his hand so many times and wanted to push aside a strand of hair that hangs from Stephan’s forehead. So often he just wanted to hug Stephan when he rolls back and forth and does not find a good night’s sleep. But he has never done it, he has always been able to hold back, even if every fibre in his body strives against it. He must protect both of them, he must not yield to his feelings, his desires, his yearning. They had come too close at the Olympics. Way too close, but there and then it felt right. For sure. It was like in another world. A world where there was only both of them and ski jumping. No friends, no family, no fans. Just peace. Only Stephan. Only the team. Andi felt as comfortable as never before and he was inspired. Nothing could stop him. He jumped better than anytime before. And now it’s his fault that Stephan is suffering. But he does it for both of them. Andi just hopes Stephan one day will understand. Understand why he had to do it.


	2. Chapter 2

After the RawAir they had only had a few days before going to Planica. Andi had spent the time with jump training. He had to jump better. But nothing worked. He jumped as bad as in Norway. How could his form disappear? Actually, he knew why. But he could not tell his coach why! So he howled all his problems by Wanki. For hours he talked to him on the phone in those days, trying to find out how Stephan was doing at the same time. And Wanki told him that Stephan was bad, but that he still trained well and that he was looking forward to Planica. Wanki listened patiently to his howling, but the day before they would travel to Planica, he said the words that had made Andi to think. He really started to think properly. 

Are they going to have a happy end or not?

“But you know that such a man as Stephan will not stay alone for long? When he’s ready to move on, he’ll be off the market very quickly. ”

Andi ran down an ice cold shower and his hand with the phone shook all at once. He had never thought that far, but now Wanki’s words were deep in his mind.

“What, what, what do you mean?” He croaked into the cell phone even though he had heard exactly what Wanki had said.

“Yeah, you do not think he’ll stay alone just because you do not want him?” Wanki continued. Bam! That was sitting!

“I want him, I love him. But it does not work” he tried to explain to Wanki.

“That does not help him” Wanki was brutally honest. “Andi, I do not understand you. Stephan loves you, god knows why he still does it, but he does. If you love him too, why do you push him away? Why are you hurting him like that? ”

“Because I’m scared,” Andi whispered  
“I’m so scared that it will break us. What happens if it does not work? If the pressure is too big? We quarrel and can not be friends anymore? ”

“Are you not breaking right now, too?” Wanki said and again he hit the mark.

After the phone call with Wanki, Andi had lain awake all night. And come up with a horror scenario after another. Always with Stephan in the lead role together with another man. A man who was not Andi. Not the best preparation for Planica after 10 days of RawAir, but Wanki’s words had burned into Andi’s brain like a curse he kept hearing -such a man like Stephan will not stay alone for long.

Tired, Andi had arrived in Planica, and the fact that he did not qualify was not surprising. Not for him at least and so he got an unplanned day off. He should use that, his coach told him, to clear his head. Andi had tried, he had really tried but it did not work out that way. He had to have a plan, a plan how he could turn everything back with Stephan. He did not know how, but he knew he had to do it somehow before Planica was over. He could not go on vacation without having clarified everything with Stephan. Who knew who he could meet on vacation? Wanki’s words shot through his head again - a man like Stephan will not be alone for long.

Stephan he had good days in Planica. He was in a good mood, he had good jumps and even though Andi sometimes saw that he was getting intense looks, he did not look so depressed anymore, which did not help Andi’s anxiety that Stephan was ready to start again. Without him. Several times Andi had tried to start a conversation with Stephan, in the evening or in the morning, when they were alone in their room, but he had lost his courage again and again. He was frustrated with himself, it was one of his best friends and he did not manage to start a conversation with him. But he was scared, afraid that Stephan did not want him anymore, that Stephan was tired of the drama that Andi had caused. The days passed and time ran Andi away. He wanted, no, he had to have it sorted out before the weekend was over.

His chance came at the Jumpers party. They all looking forward to it as usual, this year even more than usual because it was a tough season. Everyone was incredibly happy that it was over and they could go on vacation. The music was pumping in the club and when Andi had finally made it - he almost drove Wanki crazy because he had to look perfect - the party was in full swing and he immediately got a beer in his hand. He tried to find Stephan in the crowd, but it was so full that he could not find him first. He saw Eisei and Karle standing by the bar, deep in conversation with Junshiro and Rojo. Wanki discovered Richi and then disappeared. Andi went around with his beer and kept looking for Stephan. He had to be somewhere, he had gone for half an hour before Andi, along with Eisei and Karle. Sure Stephan was never in the center of attention or sought attention, but he was swallowed up from the ground. Disappointed Andi sat down at the bar and ordered another beer. He did not feel like dancing, so he would rather sit here and see if Stephan showed up at some point. The thought that he could have gone with someone flashed through Andi’s mind and again he heard Wanki say; a man like Stephan will not be alone for long. A beer became two, three and four and slowly Andi realized the effect of the alcohol in his blood and when he had to get up to go to the loo, he swayed slightly. On his way back he met Karle and he immediately asked if he had seen Stephan, because his patience was gone, he had to clear it up now. Best of all, before he was completely drunk from the whole beer drinking.

“I saw him in front of the club, but it sure is 10 minutes ago if he’s still there, I do not know,” Karle told him.

Quickly Andi went outside and searched. There were a lot of people standing outside, it was a nice spring day in Planica and even now, at night, it was still comfortably warm. Andi enjoyed the fresh air after the stifling warm air in the club. Slowly he went through the crowd and finally, he spotted Stephan. He was not alone. He was engrossed in a conversation with Andreas Stjernen and Andi did not want to disturb them even though Wanki’s words come to screaming in his brain again - a man like Stephan will not be alone for long. So he stopped and waited, at some point they would have to finish, he thought.  
And after a few minutes, it was like that and Andreas said goodbye to Stephan, not without giving the younger one a hug, which Andi did not like at all. Only he was allowed to touch Stephan but he was able to control himself and gave Andreas a friendly nod as he passed him.

Slowly Andi approached Stephan, stopped in front of him and reached for his hand, which he held tight. He needed hold, just needed to touch Stephan, but did not want to ambush him with a hug. He swallowed hard and took a breath.

“Can you forgive me?” He asked sheepishly but held his gaze. He wanted to convey his feelings and show the elderly that he did care for him. Stephan broke off the eye contact, but did not withdraw his hand, he turned away slightly from Andi, took a deep breath and began to talk:

“You hurt me hurt really bad Andi. You avoid me, I felt so alone, get no explanation. I felt dirty, so little worth to you, that you did not think I deserved an explanation after everything that happened in South Korea. ”

At the words the pain in his voice was very clear and Andi felt ashamed. He was ashamed and he was so sorry. He had treated Stephan really badly.

“I thought we were friends, at least,” he continued, “but …”

“Oh, sorry” the two were interrupted by a very drunken Halvor Granerud, who had stumbled and was falling in on Stephan.

“Did I interrupt something?” He asked with a big grin on his face. Andi groaned loudly, today everything went wrong,

“Yes, you have” he said a bit sourly, “but not the way you think and can you go again ?!”

Halvor just looked at him and winked at Stephan,

“Moody today your guy? I thought he would only be angry if he did not jump well” he said before disappearing again.

“Let’s go somewhere where we are alone” Andi said and Stephan agreed. The way back to the hotel was not far away so they walked silently in that direction. Andi was nervous, he prayed it would end well, but he was not sure. Somehow he had to go through it, but he had never had such an unpleasant situation with Stephan. He would like to know what Stephan was about to tell him. They had been disturbed at a very bad time, but at least he agreed that the two of them went back to the hotel, which Andi interpreted as a positive sign.

It was a long, difficult conversation between the two. Andi had to listen to how he had hurt his Stephan, but he could also share his fears and Stephan had also said that he could understand, but that in the future he should talk to him.

“Do we have a future?” Andi dared to ask, and it felt like his heart was standing still waiting for Stephan’s answer.

“I love you,” he said, “I’ve been doing all this time, and I’ll probably always will do that,” and Andi could not believe his luck, his heartbeat was going again, at double speed, and a few tears fell as well. Slowly, he pulled Stephan close to his side, leaned against him, put his lips on Stephan’s and put all his feelings into the kiss. He felt Stephan relax and that he slowly deepened the kiss.  
Slowly Andi ended the kiss and pulled Stephan with him to the bed, just to lie together and cuddle, to enjoy the closeness and he tried to give Stephan security and love. Stephan snuggled up to Andi, seeking more closeness and Andi felt they could make it. He had almost lost his big love, just because he was a coward and he was so grateful to Stephan that he gave him a second chance, and he was very grateful to Wanki for opening his eyes. He was so happy to have such a wonderful best friend. He knew he had a lot of work to do. A lot of work to show Stephan that he loved him, as much as he loved him. It was not going to be easy, but he wanted a future with Stephan, he could not imagine anything more wonderful and he was ready to do anything for it.


End file.
